Friday, June 05, 2009

The Guys' Rules

The Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

FINALLY, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)  We always hear "THE rules" From the female side.


Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

 

1. Men are NOT mind readers.


1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one: 
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the  other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did  NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. 
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.  Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as CRICKET, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.   

1. All points are marked as point no. (1), becoz all points are equally Important.

There is no thing as More Important or less Important.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh


Classic Definitions

Classic Definitions & cool Meanings

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one
end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals
are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor
degree and a woman gains her master

4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the
lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the
minds of either".

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece..

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is
defeated by feminine water-power ..

9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &
everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling
you have never felt before.

12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be
spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that
you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in
midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father : A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
Confidence after.

30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with
his bills.

31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails.......

 

Monday, June 01, 2009

FW: Fun12 Gone are the days!!!


 


Gone are the days!!!




 


Gone are the days!!!

 


When

 


 The school reopened in June,

 


 And we settled in our new desks and

 


 benches!

 

 

 


 When we queued up in book depot,

 


 

 


And got our new books and notes!

 


 

 


When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays ,

 


Yet managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.

 

 

 


We learnt writing with slates and pencils, and

 


 Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips!

 

 

 


When we began drawing with crayons and evolved to

 


Color pencils and finally sketch pens!

 

 

 


When we started calculating

 


first with tables and then with

 


Clarke's tables and advanced to

 


Calculators and computers!

 


 

 


When we chased one another in the

 


 corridors in Intervals , and returned to the classrooms

 


 Drenched in sweat!

 


 

 


When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,

 


 Playgrounds,

 


 under the trees and even in cycle sheds!

 


 

 


When all the colors in the world ,

 


Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays!

 


 

 


When a single P..T. period in the week's Time Table,

 


 Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons!

 

 

 


 When cricket was played with writing pads as bats ,

 


And Neckties and socks rolled into balls!

 


When few played

 


"kabadi" and "Kho-Kho" in scorching sun,

 

 

 


While others simply played

 


"book cricket" in the

 


 

 


Confines of classroom!

 


Of fights but no conspiracies,

 


Of Competitions but seldom jealousy!

 

 

 


When we used to

 


watch Live Cricket telecast,

 


In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks!

 


 

 


When few rushed at 3:45 to

 


"Conquer" window seats in our School bus!

 


While few others had "Big Fun", "peppermint" ,

 


"kulfi", " milk ice !" and "sharbat !" at 4o Clock!

 

 

 


Gone are the days

 


 

 


Of Sports Day,

 


and the annual School Day ,

 


And the one-month long

 


preparations for them.

 


 

 


Gone are the days

 


Of the stressful Quarterly,

 


 

 


Half Yearly and Annual Exams , And the most

 


enjoyed holidays after them!

 

 

 


Gone are the days

 


Of tenth and twelfth standards, when

 


We Spent almost the whole year writing revision tests!

 

 

 


We learnt,

 


We enjoyed ,

 


We played,

 


We won,

 


We lost,

 


We laughed,

 


We cried,

 


We fought,

 


We thought.

 

 

 


With so much fun in them, so many friends,

 


So much experience, all this and more!

 

 

 


Gone are the days

 


When we used

 


to talk for hours with our friends!

 


Now we don't have time to say a 'Hi'!

 


 

 


Gone are the days

 


When we played games on the road!

 

 

 


Now we

 


Code on the road with laptop!

 


 

 


 Gone are the days

 


 When we saw stars

 


 Shining at Night!

 

 

 


Now we see stars when our code doesn't

 


Work!

 


Gone are the days

 


 When we sat to chat with Friends on grounds!

 


Now we chat in chat rooms.....!

 


Gone are the days

 


Where we

 


 studied just to pass!

 


 

 


Now we study to save our job!

 

 

 


Gone are the days

 


 Where we had no money in our pockets and still fun filled on our hearts!!

 

 

 


Now we have the atm as well as credit card but with an empty heart !!

 


 

 


Gone are the days

 


 Where we shouted on the road!

 

 

 


Now we don't shout even at home

 


Gone are the days

 


Where we got lectures from all!

 


Now we give lectures to all... like the one I'm doing now ....!!

 

 

 


Gone are the days

 


But not the memories, which will be

 


Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and

 


Ever and ever and ever .....

 


 

 


Gone are the Days...... But still there are lot more Days to come in our Life!!

 

 

 


NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE ,

 

 

 


DONT FORGET TO

 


 

 


LIVE THE LIFE THAT STILL

 

 

 


EXISTS..... :)




 


__._,_




Wednesday, May 27, 2009

a smart boy

Be Positive Like This Boy

A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,'Boy. what is your problem?'

Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!'

Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.

the Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.



Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Boy.: '9'.


Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Boy.: '36'.


And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.'

Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed.


Madam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?

Boy, after a moment 'Legs.'


Madam: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

Boy.: 'Pockets.'



Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy.: Coconut


Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.

Boy.: Bubblegum


Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer..

Boy.: Shake hands



Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Boy.: Tent



Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

Boy.: Wedding Ring


Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Boy.: Nose



Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Boy.: Arrow


Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?

Boy.: Fire truck



Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.

Boy.: Fork



Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

Boy.: SURNAME.


Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Boy.: HEART.



The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

'Send this Boy to
IIM AHMEDABAD (Indian Institute Of Managment)
I got the last ten questions wrong myself!'

 

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Story of Love And Anger

Story of Love And Anger

While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 yr old son picked up a stone and scratched lines on the side of the car.
In a frenzy of rage, the man took his child's hand and hit on it multiple times, not realizing he was using a wrench.
At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures.
Then the child said to his father with pain in his eyes: 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'
The man was so hurt that he was speechless. He went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.
Devastated by his own actions, sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches, his child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.
The next day that man committed suicide. . .
Anger and Love have no limits, Choose the latter to have a beautiful and lovely life ....
"Things are to be used and people are to be loved, but the problem in today's world is that, People are used and things are loved"



Wednesday, May 06, 2009

The donkey


The donkey

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again.

The local paper read:  PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.

The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline: NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN .

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the headlines read:  NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.

The next day the headlines read : NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

Alas... The Bishop was buried the next day.

MORAL OF THE STORY

Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life. So, be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll livelonger.


Monday, April 27, 2009

magical friendship rose

 This is a magical friendship rose.
You must pass this rose to
at least five friends within
an hour of receiving it including me.
After you do, make a wish
and your fondest romantic wish
will come true!


magical rose

A true friend will send this rose back to you!

Test for Idiocy


Test for   Idiocy 
B
 elow are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK? 


Let's find out just how clever you really are....




Ready? GO!!! 




First Question: 


Y
 ou are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




 

Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutel! y wrong! If you overtake the second person, you take his place, so you are second!

Try not to screw up next time. 
Now answer the second question,
but
 don't take as much time as you took for the first one, OK ?

Second Question:
 
I
f you overtake the last person, then you are...?




 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




 

Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person? 


You're not very good at this, are you?




 

Third Question:
V
ery tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
 



Take 
1000 and add 40 to it.. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30.
Add another
 1000 . Now add 20. Now add another 1000
Now add
 10 . What is the total?




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 


Did you get
 5000? 

The correct answer is actually 4100. 




If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right....
...Maybe.
 



Fourth Question: 


Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the ! name of the fifth daughter? 





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 

Did you Answer 
Nunu? 
NO!
 Of course it isn't. 
Her name is
 Mary. Read the question again! 



Okay, now the bonus round:

I may have sent this one before. I! 'm never sure.


A
 mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is 
done.


Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of 
sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?


 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




 

He just has to open his mouth and ask... 
It's really very simple.... Like you!





 

  PASS TH IS  ON TO FRUSTRATE THE 
SMART PEOPLE 
  IN YOUR LIFE!


Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year

Dear All,





2009






Happiness deep down within.
Serenity with each sunrise .
Success in each facet of your life .
Family beside you.
Close and caring friends .
Health, inside you.
Love that never ends .
Special memories of all the yesterdays.
A bright today with much to be thankful for .
A path that leads to beautiful tomorrows .
Dreams that do their best to come true.
Appreciation of all the wonderful things about you.







Wishing you lots of Happiness , Success , Love n Good health







Warm Regards…

Praddy


Wish You A...Great, Prosperous, Blissful, Healthy, Bright, Delightful, Mind Blowing, Energetic, Terrific & Extremely ...
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009

--
Pradyut
http://pradyut.tk
http://oop-edge.blogspot.com/
http://pradyutb.blogspot.com/
http://praddy-photos.blogspot.com/
http://oop-edge.spaces.live.com/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/praddy
http://groups.google.com/group/oop_programming
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